Poor Grammar. The Name Game. Bad Buffets.

This post may be a little ramble-y, so please bear with me.  I can be a bit of a grouchy grammar-nazi. Oh, sure, some of the things I write on this blog are not grammatically correct or maybe even spelled right (although I use the spell check religiously); however, I do grasp the importance of being able to spell and write properly.  And, admittedly, I do pull a Judge-y McJudgerson when I see *text speak* - or when people write phonetically.  I tend to think that they are unintelligent and lazy (in that particular order, ThankYouVeryMuch) and can't be bothered with being correct.  Perfect example(s):

At Our Local Pet Store

Clerk (ringing me up):  "This weather be crazy!!  I was wearing a beach dress yesterday and sweating to beat the second line!!  Can you believe I'm now in snow pants???

(Can only understand a fraction of this until she repeats a second time)

Juggsy:  "I can't get used to it!!  One day I'm hot, one day I'm freezing.  Ugh!!  (All the while I'm trying to get my shit and "git" ASAP).

Clerk:  "This weather has certainly been by-ronic!!  We all gunna die from the flu and the ebola, too!!

Juggsy:  "Yes, the weather has been IRONIC (big emphasis on IRONIC) and I'm ready for spring." 

Clerk:  "Oh, baby girl!!  Bless  your heart!!  You've gotten my term wrong... it's BY-RONIC."  

No need to fight.  Just took my bags and left.  Seriously.  I do have to hand it to the clerk... she was outgoing, friendly, and could fucking multi-task.  I mean, telling me how my grammar sucked, while swiping my items through a scanner AND bagging.  Where is Donald Trump's next CEO when SHE'S RIGHT HERE???  Can I get a finders fee???  Pretty please???

The Names

Over the last month, I've noticed names and name tags.  Partially because of the culture, but others were just of the 'kr8ive" mind (it fucking KILLS ME to write "creative" that way).  Quite frankly, I just asked how they pronounce their own names, rather than embarrass myself.  Some are: 

• Rayvyn - seriously???  You needed to have two y's??)
• Ahlyviaa - AKA Olivia.  Horrid.  Oh, HORRID.
• Rainbow and Brooke Trout (identical twins).  Punny, at best.  But still gag-worthy.
• Dick (for a surname) - as in Rusty Dick.
• Shirma (pronounced Shah-Nee-Kwah) - gawd forbid you say it wrong!!

Bad Buffets

And why we don't eat at them, ever.  Unless highly recommended by other CFBC peeps...

I quit eating at buffets when we lived overseas.  Why?  Because 90% did not offer a buffet and of those that did, catered to the US (read: young, with children AND hugely also consisting of a large elderly population that may not have the money to do something better)... MASSIVELY huge family base restaurant with a handful of broke E1 or E2 soldiers going there, too.  I sincerely stopped going when I saw a toddler up to his ELBOWS in the mashed potatoes.  And when I went to get a manager...???  Her excuse happened to be "kid's will be kids."  NEVER.  NEVER again am I going to ANY buffet.  No fucking how, NO FUCKING WAY.  

Please don't worry about my blood-pressure.  It's very happy.  I'm going to see a good friend tomorrow, and she's the bomb diggity.  Just wish our other bestie could come and sing some Johnny Cash, too.

Lagnaiappe

A picture of me.  Oh, I'm sure this did something for someone.  Cheers.