That's what I had. Lovely, savory, delicious meatloaf. I'm also in the process of demolishing a bagel, so we'll just refer to this as "brunch". Isn't that a lovely concept?? The mixing of two favorite meals. There's no pressure to eat one certain thing.
No pressure. What a concept.
There are things that I am supposed to be doing right now (in order to facilitate certain other things that will be coming up in the very near near future)... and I am feeling inept and paralyzed. Drowning in the plethora of crap that I need to go through in order to get organized... I don't know if I should start at one end or the other... or dive right in and begin at the middle. Any way you look at it, nothing much has been done. And I wake up every. single. day. thinking that this cleaning-purging-arranging is magically going to happen.
And it doesn't.
Which repeats the cycle of my just sitting here, twiddling my fucking thumbs, waiting for some miracle to walk through the door and tell me what I need to be doing. ASAP. But for some reason, I'm lost, I'm paralyzed, I'm having these nasty flashbacks to 2012 (when we moved FIVE times in a mere 11 months) and I know that I can't deal with any of this right now. I can't even commit to volunteer organizations who rely on me because I have no point of reference. Great. I'm unable to even explain why I can't help out right now.
Why, hello Depression!! So lovely to see you yet again. ::puke::
And I'm frustrated beyond belief with this "hurry-up-and-wait" bullshit that I'm having to deal with. IF I had dates. IF I had a timeline. IF I had any fucking indicator at all as to WHEN I'll need to arrange for a dog-sitter, WHEN I can sign a lease, WHEN I can give utility notices and DTV notices and cable notices. An actual address to forward mail to... just something as easy as that. Nothing.
To add to my *friend* Depression, I would like to invite a couple of other downers to this party... can we have Hopeless, Ineptitude, and No Motivation come in and join us?? I'll be sure to put on some horrible daytime TV like Maury "Who IS my Baby-Daddy" Povitch just for ambiance. Vodka tonic is the drink of the day AND we have meatloaf for brunch.
Cheers.
